I Hate Feminist Ryan Gosling.

Hey, Girl.


Just kidding.

Seriously, though.

That’s f#cking weird. And grammatically incorrect.

>>>DISCLAIMER: If you like Feminist Ryan Gosling that’s your deal. This is a rant and not in any way meant to be persuasive. Cheers.<<<

ANYWAY: While the multiple ironies here are not lost on me, and my boyfriend was trying to convince me that it’s “supposed to be funny,” I just think this kind of sh1t is annoying. I think it’s weird. I say this only because I feel like there’s a (mainly academic) brand of feminist out there who’s sitting around preaching a new paradigm for men: men who are not only sensitive to feminist values (which is fine with me, absolutely), but men who are also soft, meek, self-deprecating, and who are apologetic for their masculinity, as if masculinity is a crime. Men who have low self-esteems in the face of women because they’re constantly afraid they’re going to offend someone JUST BY BEING A MAN. They agree with us because they think it’s somehow right…even if they don’t agree! So like, you’re humoring us? THAT’S SEXIST. But who cares? Somehow, sh1t’s got twisted so that anything and everything a man says can somehow be made sexist, so there’s this idea that if men just don’t say anything, or if they say only what we want them to say, they won’t be sexist anymore…They’ll be like, feminists? And so like, who wants that? I don’t mean who wants a feminist. I mean: Who wants a man who only says and does what you tell him to say and do? And further, who would want their man talking like that?  THAT’S SO SEXIST. And, like, ew.

If my boyfriend said something like that to me, I’d kick him out. Or I’d just tell him to go have feats of strength or something. I’d be all like, HEY, BOY. Go drive to Joshua Tree with a couple of your rougher buddies, and when you get there, pick up the heaviest rock you can find, and carry it out into the middle of the desert with nothing but your wits and a belly full of whiskey. Come back when you’re properly weathered and masculine. I’M SORRY.

Anyway, I know I’m late to the party here, and I’m totally blowing things out of proportion, but I am not alone. Apparently, true blue “crabby” feminists hate this sh1t as much as I do, because they think that having a super cute white male “avatar” use feminist fodder as a means to “melt our hearts” is, inherently, blasphemous. It validates the very gender roles and white male patriarchal values that fodder-in-question is seeking to preach against. Or something. (I lifted this argument out of the comments section for a Feminist-Ryan-Gosling-related Jezebel article.) So this is called “Feminist-lite,” and it’s something for girls who kind of toy with being feminists (but are really not? Apparently?) to find snarky, self-congratulatory comedy in, while more hardcore feminists find it frustrating and antithetical to what feminism means. While I totally disagree with the idea of “feminist-lite” (because it implies there’s a “right way” and a “wrong way” to be a feminist), I think I like these hardcore chicks better sometimes. While I think they’re full of sh1t, they’ve got a code.

Hey girl, get over it.

Anyway, girls, come on. BE SERIOUS. Would you rather have Feminist Ryan Gosling or this?


Think about it.



About Hey, Sugar.

writer of fictions, mild midwesterner, girl power, happy.
This entry was posted in feminism, television, women and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Hate Feminist Ryan Gosling.

  1. Anna F. says:

    Right on sister friend. There ain’t no shame in embracing traditionally masculine qualities like whisky-drinking and rock-hulling, but there is in gendering or shitting on these qualities. Sometimes I worry what all the truly feminist-lite/”post-feminist” discourses (i.e., Sex and The City) are doing to men.

    And right on for spotting that misplaced “with you” modifier in the first image. And think of all the underemployed English majors. Blasphemous.

    Groovy post.

  2. Hey, Sugar. says:

    Yeah, I’m really a kind of been-there-done-that “dissident” feminist in that I think all this hyper-intellectualizing of “femininity” and “masculinity” has caused more problems than it’s solved–namely to confuse girls who may wish to feel empowered in their femininity and do not wish to villainize men. I used to have a lot more interest in feminism and politics, but I’ve really settled the f#ck down, and in the end, it makes me queasy and frustrated. It makes me rant. I’m for a feminism that doesn’t patrol its borders, something that can be a part of all our lives, not just the “intellectual elite.” It can take many forms. Thanks for reading!! 🙂

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